A Jaime at the lunch table
Meet Jaime. Jaime is a male, 15-year old Chinese-American high school student. He attends a high school whose population comes primarily from low to middle income families. Jaime was born and raised in America. Both of his parents were immigrants; coming over to the States roughly 20 years ago. They are very traditional. At home, Jaime’s parents speak Chinese to him, and he generally responds in English as he is not quite fluent in his heritage language yet. This arrangement works quite well for this family since Jaime’s Chinese vocabulary increases with every conversation he has with his parents, and his parents’ English vocabulary increases in the same vein.  Needless to say, Jaime and his parents maintain a close and healthy relationship with each other.
At school, Jaime is an average student. He passes all of his courses with relative little difficulty and immensely enjoys being with his friends. He is not in any afterschool clubs or sports, preferring instead to go home after saying his farewells to his friends every day. His friends are a very diverse bunch; spanning across multiple races and cultures. Overall, Jaime feels he has nothing to complain about.
One day, Jaime decides to sit at one of his friends’ tables as he had to take a later lunch, due to a field trip earlier that day. His friend is also a 15-year old male, we’ll call him Billy. Billy had recently emigrated from China not more than three years ago and preferred to sit at a table with other children who had also recently emigrated from China. Jaime quickly noticed that everyone at this table spoke Chinese to one another. Knowing that his Chinese was not up to par, Jaime was too embarrassed to participate in the conversation and instead spoke to Billy, in English, about various things that high school boys tend to do. One of the other boys at the table had suddenly interrupted their conversation and spoke harshly to Billy in Chinese. The boy told Billy to make sure not to translate anything for Jaime. If he wasn’t a “real” Chinese fellow, he didn’t deserve to know. Jaime and Billy both stared in disbelief at this boy. Being the outsider of the group, Jaime didn’t reveal that he could understand, but made sure to tell Billy that he knew what was just said later on.
This event, which lasted no more than 5 minutes, bothered Jaime for a very long time. These people, whom he thought were his peers, told him he wasn’t Chinese. Before this incident, he certainly felt Chinese. He knew people who looked at him thought he was Chinese, but apparently he was not. If he wasn’t Chinese, what was he? Was he American? Well, people who look at him certainly don’t call him American right off the bat. They instead acknowledge him by the race he appears to be; Chinese. But he according to that one child, he wasn’t Chinese either. If he was not Chinese and was not American either, what was he? What group did he belong to? Who was he? What was he? He was both, but neither. This thought plagued Jaime for many years. He was always hesitant to join groups as he felt he didn’t really belong there. He tried to deny his Chinese cultural heritage and conform to the mainstream American one. Jaime would often be embarrassed by his Chinese heritage and traditions and always changed the subject when anyone asked him about some aspect of his culture. They were interested but he decidedly, was not. It all worked out rather well for Jaime, in his opinion.
Eventually, Jaime would graduate from high school, get away from that group of Chinese students who had such a profound effect on his life, and attend college.  However, the entire time, Jaime felt something was off about him. Something was always missing. Jaime grew tired of fielding questions about his heritage. After all, he wasn’t Chinese; he was American, just like them! He also tired of defending what few traditions he still clung to; such as consulting with his parents before making big decisions in his life or following the career path that his parents hoped he would. More than once, he heard the phrase, “Well, tell them you’re in America now, and that’s just how we do things.” He became frustrated of all of this and flipped on his cultural standpoint. He was Chinese!  How dare they tell him to reject his culture? Jaime would be resentful every time his friends would make these comments and eventually would withdraw even further from his friends and mainstream culture.
Debrief
Jaime’s story is a rather common one for first generation, bicultural adolescents. They are at a stage of life where they are trying to find their place in life and in society. Normally, the average teenager already struggles with the, “Who am I?” paradox; they ask themselves a bevy of questions such as: “Who am I,” “What place do I have in society,” and “What place do I have amongst my peers.” Bicultural youth of minority backgrounds, such as Jaime, also have the more basic, foundation shaking question of, “What am I?” complicating the mix.
Answering these questions is difficult for any adolescent as mainstream society often pushes children to decide what they are to be in the future. This is commonly heard in the seemingly innocent question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” With the possibility of attending college looming in the future, we often rush these developing individuals into making a choice relatively early on. As doubtlessly many of us have seen, this can end disastrously as pushing an adolescent into making a decision can lead to apathy, rebellious behavior, or outright defiance. The, “Who am I?” and “What place do I have amongst my peers?” questions are often answered as adolescents naturally move through their lives. “What place do I have in society?” is often guided along by the career inventories, career counselors, real-world experience, and standardized tests often given to these teenagers in the latter years of high school. But what assistance do adolescents who have to ask themselves, “What am I?” have? The answer, from my experience, is very little.
The struggle of “What am I?” is what Jaime was made aware of when he sat at that table on that fateful day. Political correctness would state that Jaime was Chinese American, but what does that really mean? His Chinese peers would state that no, he was not Chinese, he was American. And, on the other hand his other peers would tell him that no, he’s not American, he’s Chinese. He has people telling him that he was both but neither—that while he may be Chinese, he was not and while he may be American, he also, was not. Both but not really; it almost sounds like the set up for a cheesy drama, doesn’t it? Unfortunately, there are few resources in place to help adolescents, who are stuck pondering this question, out.
Questions to Consider
- Put yourself into Jaime’s shoes:
- How would you feel if someone told you, that you did not belong to any of your cultures?
- What do you imagine would have been different had Jaime spoken up to that teenager who tried to exclude him from the group?
- How would you feel being around the Jaime who was just entering college? What about the Jaime at the end of the story?
- What would be the ideal outcome for Jaime?
- A much more uncomfortable question to consider, what is the most likely outcome for Jaime?
- Rank these in order of what you feel are in order of least beneficial to most beneficial (one of them should be fairly obvious!):
- Rejecting his Chinese culture, accepting the mainstream American culture
- Rejecting both cultures
- Rejecting American culture and accepting his Chinese culture
- Accepting both cultures
- How could someone help Jaime answer the question of, “What am I?”
- Why is the basic question of, “What am I?” so devastating?